Greetings from the Order of the Flaming Leopard Panties

[apocalypticbob]

Having attempted life in the traditional convent for one whole day, I'm now planning my escape.

You see, there are just too many things on the outside I would miss...like this:







Muchos gracias to verminiusrex for the picture of myself and the stunning radcliffe...can you believe we had met less than 10 minutes before this picture was taken? Yeah, I love faire.

Thanks to everyone for your comments earlier. It truly would have been a much less funny situation had D not been the wonderful, generous person she is. I can almost laugh about it without blushing furiously. Almost.

In an interesting turn of events, I decided to wear my new Native Earth ghillies to work today, having decided that if I was going to be inserting my foot into my mouth, it might as well be shod in new shoes. They were declared by my various coworkers to be "Awesome!", "Comfortable looking.", and "Sexy!" None of them had ever seen ghillies before...which always strikes me as funny. Wore them with a full skirt in chocolate brown and a cute little fitted top...and I felt sexy and feminine...must wear skirts to work more often once I escape the convent.

And I can't resist sharing one of my very favorite pictures of the handfasting between thebruce and rowangolightly that I attended on Sunday evening, because it so captures them...it is the essential Brusi in one brief moment captured on camera and snagged with permission and thanks from 5rings.







Well, the bells have just rung for Vigils, and I'm going to try to make a break for it while they are distracted. I've knotted my brassiers into a fairly sturdy rope and have tied it to the bedpost (not really my favorite thing to have tied to bedposts, but I digress.)

Am leaving behind a stack of medieval romance books (read:porn) and a pink jelly vibrating egg for the sisters unfortunate enough to be left behind to remember me...may they be inspired to even greater things!

*sings "I Refuse To Be A Nun" in the style of maidens_whymsie*

We are founding our own order: The Order of the Flaming Leopard Panties (so named by fyreseer). Novitiates now being accepted.

(My humble apologies to anyone offended by my silly sense of humor. I need to let loose today, and this is the form it is taking. Bear with me?)

Comments

[bountifulpots.livejournal.com]

I want in!!!

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Do you solemnly swear to behave in a truly hedonistic manner at least occasionally?

Will you lustfully and brazenly kiss the closest (non-related..we aren't that kind of order!) sexy person you come across and whisper something wanton in their ear?

These are your novitiate tasks.

[motherpockets.livejournal.com]

I have previously been a member of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually Confused. Your order sounds like much more fun! May I transfer?

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

We certainly accept transfers!

Of course, you will still be required to perform a novitiate task.

Yours is to give the next sexy person you come across booby hugs, which is basically pressing your chest against them in a suggestive manner while whispering sweet nothings in their ear. (Yes, husbands certainly count!) Bonus points for signing something mildly suggestive to the next handsome devil you come across.

[motherpockets.livejournal.com]

Oh, and btw, I LOVE your Comma Sutra icon!

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

I blatantly stole it from chernobylred who I believe blatantly stole it from someone else...and I love it, too!

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

I devotedly ask for a novitiate task, because they look like fun!

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

I'm pretty sure you've already earned it, but what the heck!

Yours will be more difficult, as I expect a high standard from you

Your novitiate task is to convince a man at festival to purchase a pickle or sausage on a stick (your choice) for you...but you are not allowed to ask for it by name. This may be a patron, a performer, or a friend, and you may actually give them the money for it, but you are only allowed to refer to it by naughty names, and they must do the actual purchasing from the vendor. You have until end of faire run to complete this task. Bonus points for completing it more than once or enlisting others to do the same...every order needs converts.

You must then eat said purchased pickle or sausage in a suggestive manner in front of as many people as possible.

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

mmmm pickle! The salty cylinder, drunken marital aide.... I accept!

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

I expect full details!

*laughs*

[aerie13.livejournal.com]

I am so honored for our music to be part of your ... um... busting out.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

I couldn't find a more appropriate song if I tried!

[karl-moebius.livejournal.com]

Not offended, but I do wish to encourage!

[seantaclaus.livejournal.com]

Run, Little Bobcat! Run fast, run free, and leave no Nun unturned! Or something like that... *ahem*

[phalloidium.livejournal.com]

I like grapes, too. lol.

Umm...

[magdaleneseal.livejournal.com]

So are you the Mother Superior- cause if you are, I get to train the noviates!! Or better yet- we can have two mother superiors (you and I) and have all the other minions do our bidding. I like this suggestion much better when I think about it.

I even went out and bought leopard panties in honor of our new order. *Ahem*

Re: Umm...

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Oh, we are definitely the Mothers Superior...and I've been handing out novitiate tasks willy nilly to anyone who asks, tailored specifically to what I know of that person, as you'll see in the comments...I do hope you will do the same.

I so need some new leopard panties!

[grizesme.livejournal.com]

I was once nicknamed "Sister Mother Merry Sherry" So I have the name...now I just have to see if they make flaming leopard panties in my size!! *LOL*

[aoifemacewen.livejournal.com]

I want to convert!

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Sure thing, and realize that you do not lose your membership in SODOM to become a sister of The Order of the Flaming Leopard Panties...in fact, we think the orders work perfectly in conjunction with each other.

While I would almost be inclined to think your assault on an innocent table would qualify you, I am charged with giving every novitiate a task.

Therefore, your task is to flirt with and tease wantonly at least one person (yes, husbands count!) but you must use cheesy pick up lines to do so. Examples below:

"Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
"Your legs must be tired, 'cause you'v been running though my mind all day!"
"You want fries with that shake?"
"Show me your snake and I'll let you board my plane." (Okay, maybe no that one...)

You cannot tell said person that this is part of a novitiate task.
Bonus points for doing it thoughout the course of a day with phone calls, text messages, e-mails, or whatever other form you choose. You have two weeks to complete your task. I expect a full report.

[rougewench.livejournal.com]

My dear, it ain't got nothing to do with generosity.

Remember, one of the base tenents of wenching is to not have to apologize for one's control over one's sexuality. You saw something you liked, you damn well ought to be able to voice that attraction. Whether or not you choose to act on that attraction would have to do with the actual circumstances involved and whether said circumstances involved the necessity of certain permissions.

Period.

Revel in the freedom the choice awards you. Make no apologies for the joy and power you find in its expression.


D.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

It has been almost a full week since I told you I love you.

What a regrettable oversight!

I love you.

You rock my world.

[nataliesee.livejournal.com]

OH, this was the PERFECT thing for a Friday morning!!! :D

You are wonderfully goofy!

[alrescate.livejournal.com]

Now this sounds like an Order I could get behind. *ahem*

I don't suppose I would be accepted into the Order?

Oh, and I love both the pictures.....

Um Yes Indeedy...

[magdaleneseal.livejournal.com]

We are a co-ed order, because Mother Bob and I have decided, it is important to *ahem* include our "brethren" in our sacred work, It is critical in order to maintain the natural Universal balance of things, dontcha ya know.

You will be required to pass inspection of your *soft skils*, which will conducted by Mother Bob and myself. If you are willing to get *ahem* behind us, I am sure you will pass just fine.

Welcome Brother.... Mother Lewd Angelica

[blueii.livejournal.com]

*Jumps up and down waving hand* OHHH ME ME ME OH OH.. Pick ME!!!

You have been picked....

[magdaleneseal.livejournal.com]

Mother Bob- Where are you?

[olafthunderfoot.livejournal.com]

so, where do males fit into the order?????

[itzwicks.livejournal.com]

Geez, I don't recall any grape sharing like that at the vineyards?! :P

Leave the region for a week and I end up missing a lot of fun. I must really break that habit and soon.

:le leer:

[tmpiper.livejournal.com]

I wannabe a grape.

[starwyse.livejournal.com]

As a Lovely Woman/Whore of Babylon...I hereby set my leopard panties aflame!!

Pick me too

[angelbedwell.livejournal.com]

I'd like in please!!!!!!!

[titaniumdiva.livejournal.com]

Can a former RenFest wench join the order, too?

[oldwolf.livejournal.com]

Former hell! Once one, always one! ;-)