Random letters for a Wednesday morning

[apocalypticbob]

Dear Jewelry Retailers,

I get it. Truly. I do. The economy is down and you've got to fight for those retail dollars. Jewelry is a rather frivolous purchase and therefore the first to get scratched off of people's lists. I do understand. But come on! Three sappy jewelry commercials in a row is more likely to make me slit my wrists than adorn them with the diamond tennis bracelets you are hawking. Please, for the sake of myself and all the other single folk who aren't going to have a "Zales moment" this holiday season, keep it to a minimum.

Sparklingly yours,

Bob

***************************************

Dear Brain,

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This was the first morning since sometime last week that I didn't wake up before my alarm went off. So nice. Let's make a habit of this!

Sleepily,

Bob

**************************************

Dear Libido,

Thanks for coming out to play this weekend. Time to go away now. I appreciate your willingness to step up and assist me this weekend with my whore character. A healthy libido is certainly an asset in that kind of situation. That said, the weekend is over and I have a long, lonely winter stretching out ahead of me, so you can just tuck yourself back into whatever corner you sprang forth from until...oh...May or so. When you are around, you are a bad influence, like the friend in school that wants you to cut class and party with them instead of studying and doing the right thing. If I allowed you free reign...well, that would be a dangerous thing indeed. As much as I've enjoyed your company, don't let the door hit you in the rear on your way out.

Buh-Bye.

Frustratedly,

Bob

**********************************

Dear Bob,

You have way too much to do today to be on the computer. Get your bum off the couch and get to work! You need to complete three projects for the Shindig, clean house, do laundry, go to the gym, plant those damn tulip bulbs before it is too late, go to the bank, and go to the grocery store, and you only have a finite amount of time to do it all in. Time managment is your friend today. Time sucking computer is not.

Focus.

Drag your ass through a shower and get to it, girl!

Love you,

Bob

Comments

[tempestteapot.livejournal.com]

I HATEHATEHATEHATE jewelry commercials. I hate them worse if they manage to make me choke up and cry.

[asterapallas.livejournal.com]

As you write your letters from within ~ remember that you never have to do without...

If a "Zales moment" is something that you'd enjoy... create one for yourself.
:)

And love yourself as we do.
Because yes, even though I haven't been here long ~ I found in you a treasure and see that you are very lovable.

<3

*HUGS*

[coen.livejournal.com]

I hope you read this comment AFTER you've come back from the bank, the gym, and the grocerystore.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I really hate jewelry commercials. Hate them.

[the-terrible.livejournal.com]

May I hit your libido in the rear? XD *ducks and runs*